Hey Chandni! I honestly really look forward to reading your stories! I love how you extended your story to show how the judge took care of Sita's request for divorce! You did a great job modernizing the story and making it more relatable to people of this era! However, it felt like Sita was way too forgiving at the end after her solid arguments and accusations stated prior. Maybe if Sita told Rama that she would give him one last chance and some restrictions, then Rama would realize how big was the mistake he made but accusing Sita of being unfaithful to him. You could also make to story more vivid by being more descriptive about the courtroom, the general setting of the story, and maybe include some more internal thoughts from Sita, showing how hurt she was by Rama. Great job on your stories and I can't wait to read some more throughout the semester!
Hi Chandni! Honestly, this is the best project I have read so far. I was immediately drawn in to The Karma Diaries after I read your home page. I think you have done an absolutely wonderful job! Story one, Sita vs. Rama was so easy to read! As I read it I felt like I was with Judge Karma, Sita and Rama. I like how you started out with an introduction and then went into a script-like format. However, I definitely agree with Shivani about how you could make the story more vivid. Maybe in between speaking lines you could add what they were thinking or even what clothes they were wearing. In your story, Sita seems to be an extremely independent woman, think of what she could have been wearing to court? Think about her body language in a situation like this and write it down. I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future!
Hi Chandni, I thought your project was very interesting, definitely not something I would have thought of while reading these Indian Epics. I read you stories to my Indian roommate, and he thought your take was original and new. The script like format definitely helps us see the response of each character to the situation, I was wondering if it would be possible to get small descriptive phrases, denoting tone, facial expression, setting, etc. I think this would take the story to the next level, not only letting us all hear the dialogue and interaction, but see the story as well. One final potential additions would be actions, obviously not large scale actions due to the courtroom setting, but things such as the characters gesticulating or other things to really convey the emotion behind the words. I look forward to reading more stories from you in the future, and can not wait to see what your next addition to this site will be.
Hi Chandi! I really like your project idea. I'm a letters con studies major and I love how you made each title (name) vs (name). Also, I like how you chose to empower Sita in your first story. I think that the Indian epics make women look weak and I think that your modern interpretation of the epic gave Sita a lot more of a western flare and vitality. One thing that I was wondering about is who Kamadeva is. Perhaps you could exaplain a little bit about the that figure in your author's notes and why Marriage counceling would make sense. When I was reading the second story I just realized that you are choosing Karma as the main character and using first person to talk about him! I think that's really cool and I appreciate that. I look forward to reading more of your stories and how this all turns out!!
Hi Chandni. I like your mini-introduction on your homepage. The comment link to your blog is really helpful. I do not care for your banner on your home page, it just doesn’t seem to fit in. Having a judge or something along those lines would seem to work better. Also, I do believe you need something along the lines of “This is a Storybook project for MLLL-4993-996 at the University of Oklahoma, Spring 2018” on your home page. Your stories are a bit odd and something I wouldn’t have thought of. I did find myself enjoying them. You have them set up as a court reporting, but with a background one why they were summoned. The overall theme itself is enjoyable. You should consider adding a little more detail to the stories. This would help with the imagination of the reader. I look forward to your future writings and wish you the best of luck.
Hello Chandni, Your project idea is one of the coolest, most creative ways of retelling stories yet. Not only does it help create an entirely different narrative, but it is also incredibly encapsulating. After reading the story over the Mahabharata, I was even more impressed with your idea. The way your were able to change parts of the story to give justice to Duryodhana was amazing. I also loved how you made a little soliloquy for karma to explain that the story was about the kids, as it was not their battle and should be left out of it. The author's note at the end was alos incredibly helpful, especially for a confusing story like the Marabharata. I wonder if Karma has any powers outside the court, supernatural to be exact. Does she effect their lives this way? Or the court is her way of determining what kind of punishment to deal to each individual based on their actions.
Chandni, I just read your Karma diaries Case 1 and Case two. You did a great job and I loved the creativity that your project has. It is unlike any others that I have read and as someone who loves Judge Judy and court room inspired movies, I really enjoyed it! In Case 2 I really liked how you gave a very detailed author's note to allow the reader to see your inspiration behind your project, so thank you for that. I also liked how you talked about dharma and how Karma's dharma is unlike a normal judge's in that she has to give people what they deserve, good and bad. I wonder where you will take the story in the next few weeks! Personally, I think it would be cool to see if from the few of a court room reporter or newscaster. I also noticed a few spelling and grammar mistakes with you're and your so you might want to proofread through again. Great job!
Hi Chandni great Portfolio so far! I have read case 1 and case 2 and I really like how you are telling the stories making it feel like I am in the courtroom. Writing the dialogue like that makes it seem like I am sitting in the courtroom as well. Your dialogue takes me through the entire court case and gives a glimpse into how those participating in the court case feel. However, one thing that I would recommend for your upcoming stories is a little more background and maybe a look into what Judge Karma is thinking during the case. The dialogue is very well done, but I am having some trouble following the dialogue in the middle of the story. Introducing characters that readers may not know would mitigate a lot of the confusion regarding the introduction of brand new characters. Also, adding short paragraphs describing what Judge Karma is thinking during the case would add more depth to the stories. Great job on your Portfolio so far, I look forward to reading more stories.
Hey Chandni! So the first thing I noticed were a couple of typos on the homepage of your portfolio. You might want to read through it once more just to get those out of there. I like your idea of creating mock court cases and the way you have set up the dialogue like the written records from actual hearings. In you first story, with Rama and Sita, you might want to try breaking apart the bits of dialogue in the prelude, as the lines from Rama and Sita kind of run together and could cause some confusion. In the second story, as Arjuna is giving his arguments, and talks about how he failed his son and mother, the sentence seems to stop midway. It would help the flow of the story a lot if that is removed or if the thought is finished. Other than those and a few little typos, I think your stories are looking pretty great. Well done!
Hey Chandni! First off all your homepage is the most informative that I have read. It introduces what your portfolio covers and lets the reader know what to expect. I really enjoyed reading the stories and hearing the judgement from Karma, it was a unique idea! In Case 1, there are several mismatched quotations for the dialogue between Rama and Sita, but there a simple grammar errors that can be fixed. In regards to the background of the case, it does not describe that Sita was in exile prior to the fire trial, but this is mentioned in the courtroom with Karma. It would help the reader to describe this earlier on in the story.
I like that Case 2 was more focused on the courtroom of Karma. This allows for more involvement on her part. Through the testifying from the plaintiff and the defendant, you were able to describe the background behind the case without explicitly describing it in Case 1. I liked this style more, but either works for the portfolio.
Hey there, Chandni! I really like your Introduction about Karma. I would never have thought of doing my project like the way you are doing, honestly it really was a unique idea props to you. It was really interesting how you introduce who the Karma is and how she conducts her case and also how she is different then other typical “courts”. After reading your Introduction I read your case one and I must say it was really good story. Even if I knew my topic was going to be Karma I still wouldn’t be able to write this kind of story. I like how you made Sita and Rama get together like before after solving all the problem in their life. But it could have been better because you are ”Karma” and you should have punished Rama for the wrong thing he has done in the like and make Sita and Rama get together again. But it was a good read.
Hey there, Chandni! The first thing that I noticed was how great your front page looked! You have a really nice chunk of text that gives a great introduction to the stories in your project. I also thought that your background image looked really nice on your page. I thought that the first case between Rama and Sita was really funny and also great at bringing closure to the situation. I remember reading about Sita's exile in the Ramayana. I felt terrible for her and she had experienced. It was nice to see the two reconcile in your story. I hope that Sita was finally able to forgive him for the mistakes that he had made. I truly do not think he acted out of hate. I also thought that the second story was great. It was nice to see that Karma was looking out for the children instead of protecting the adults. They had broken the rules and did not deserve to be protected.
Hi, Chandni! To begin, I already love your use of dialogue. This immediately draws me into the story and drops me immediately into the plot. I also love these small moments that give us a look at the characters internal thoughts. It is almost as if Rama is expecting a double standard. Next, I LOVE all of the courtroom dialogue. It really shows the characters personalities. I also love that Sita is so sassy…you go girl! I think that this method of story telling is so engaging and exciting. I think my biggest request is that you use more imagery! Where were they in the first scene? What did the courtroom look like? Where were they headed? Thank you so much for sharing this story! I am loving where it’s going and am certain that will just get better and better! I am looking forward to reading more of your work. Good luck this semester! Jessie
Hey, Chandni I read "The Pandava Bachelors" this story always caught my eye. I found it really interesting that there were four brothers that were trying to find wives. in the story I like how you introduced each brother and the dialogue throughout the story was really good. overall I really enjoyed reading this story it was one of my favorite.
Hey Chandni, I think your project is very intriguing, definitely something i could have not thought of when i was reading Indian Epics. Your story seems very original in idea and very fun story to read. I enjoyed the parts where you showed the character's internal thoughts. First story about Rama and Sita was very fun to read for me and i really enjoyed it. I wished that you used for description when it came to the image. But overall i loved your story! I hope you keep up the good work and i will toward to read more stories from you!
Hi again Chandi! Like I said before this is probably one of my favorite projects I have read so far! I would have never thought to turn stories from Indian Epics into what you have created. After I reread your first story and read for the first time your second and third story I thought that you have done a really great job making sure everything flows. The use of dialogue throughout your story really makes it awesome and unique. I think one collective thing that would make all of your stories better is if you explained more about what everything looked like. I had a hard time picturing the court room or picturing the judge. I think it would help a lot and contribute to the overall effect of your story if you decided to add some more imagery. Overall everything looks so great! I look forward to seeing what your finished product will look like! Good luck in the rest of your semester! Almost to the finish line!
Hi Chandni! I'm from the Myth-Folklore class, and I really love your project! Personifying karma as a judge is honestly genius. Case 1 is well-paced and the dialogue is solid, and it definitely felt like I was reading a transcript from Judge Judy or something like that. In Case 2, I really appreciated that you gave us more of Karma's personality. Case 1 was more about the couple, but Karma really shone in the second story. The final case shows how well you've fleshed out your characters, and I could picture the scene really well. Your banner images also help set a great aesthetic for the site. I did notice one small thing, which is that you bolded the names of the speakers in the first and final cases, but didn't in the second. It's a small thing, but still noticeable. Overall though, you've done a fantastic job on this project!
Hey Chandni! Your storybook is a really cool idea and I like the direction you have taken your project. The Karma court concept is really unique and I haven't seen any other projects like yours. The breakup of your stories into cases was awesome and really makes your storybook shine. I like the introduction and picture on your home page. It does a really good job of setting up the story and gives the reader just enough to be engaged and leave them wanting to read more. The way you break up your stories into dialogue in a court is super cool and makes the characters feel more real and important than if it was all in third person. You also do a really good job of integrating the source stories into your format without making them feel out of place. Overall really good job and I am happy to have chosen your project to read and comment on.
I almost immediately heard the People’s Court theme as soon as I read “Little did he know that I, Karma, was about to take over.” Hahahaha awesome.
Oooh snap.
“Do you realize that while performing your dharma as a king, you have neglected your dharma as a husband?” That’s good stuff.
Hahaha oh man she took Karna down a peg. Oooh and Duryodhana! This is literally an epic takedown. I’m glad Judge Karma said if because I wanted to while I was reading that bs about him losing everything in a gambling match. Such an idiot!
I think it would be funny to have more images of the characters throughout the story, instead of just one at the very bottom. You could even make it look like it’s from TV and choose pics where they seem to be reacting to what’s going on.
This was hands-down the easiest story to read from this class. It was engaging, funny and vivid. I felt like I was watching reality tv without the guilt. I deeply enjoyed the sass from Judge Karma.
I love this concept! I enjoyed your stories so much, and I felt I should be reading them to theme music. That might even be a good idea, since there are so many court TV shows with those distinctive theme songs.
Personifying Karma was brilliant, and I think it'd be interesting to see what other elements of the stories could be personified and come to bear in the court room. Jealousy, maybe? Ravana would be a contender for that claim. I loved the general format of your stories, but I think it would be awesome to have a tiny bit more narration between bits of dialogue. It's easy for the reader's eye to become lost in the back-and-forth nature of the dialogue.
I loved all the sass you got from Karma! She had so much personality. I especially loved the exchange between Karma and Kamsa. That finger-snapping was the best!
Hi Chandni! I like your concept of having characters sit before a personification of Karma and explain themselves and their actions in the stories. In "Sita vs. Rama" I noticed you had two dialogue tags for one piece of dialogue in the second line of the story. You have "Rama ... asked" then the dialogue then "exclaimed Rama." It would probably be best to pick one for that line. I appreciated that you made Sita stronger and that she stood up to Rama in your story. It always bothers me the way Rama treated Sita in the original story. I love the description of the appearance of Judge Karma's robes in the second case. The red K on the back gives it an almost superhero vibe. I also like the way you tied it all back together with Kunti abandoning Karna. There was one typo in the second to last paragraph though. I think you swapped "live" and "to" in the sentence that started "Why should she get ..." Other than that your stories are really fun and unique!
Hey Chandni!
ReplyDeleteI honestly really look forward to reading your stories! I love how you extended your story to show how the judge took care of Sita's request for divorce! You did a great job modernizing the story and making it more relatable to people of this era! However, it felt like Sita was way too forgiving at the end after her solid arguments and accusations stated prior. Maybe if Sita told Rama that she would give him one last chance and some restrictions, then Rama would realize how big was the mistake he made but accusing Sita of being unfaithful to him. You could also make to story more vivid by being more descriptive about the courtroom, the general setting of the story, and maybe include some more internal thoughts from Sita, showing how hurt she was by Rama. Great job on your stories and I can't wait to read some more throughout the semester!
Hi Chandni! Honestly, this is the best project I have read so far. I was immediately drawn in to The Karma Diaries after I read your home page. I think you have done an absolutely wonderful job! Story one, Sita vs. Rama was so easy to read! As I read it I felt like I was with Judge Karma, Sita and Rama. I like how you started out with an introduction and then went into a script-like format. However, I definitely agree with Shivani about how you could make the story more vivid. Maybe in between speaking lines you could add what they were thinking or even what clothes they were wearing. In your story, Sita seems to be an extremely independent woman, think of what she could have been wearing to court? Think about her body language in a situation like this and write it down. I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future!
ReplyDeleteHi Chandni, I thought your project was very interesting, definitely not something I would have thought of while reading these Indian Epics. I read you stories to my Indian roommate, and he thought your take was original and new. The script like format definitely helps us see the response of each character to the situation, I was wondering if it would be possible to get small descriptive phrases, denoting tone, facial expression, setting, etc. I think this would take the story to the next level, not only letting us all hear the dialogue and interaction, but see the story as well. One final potential additions would be actions, obviously not large scale actions due to the courtroom setting, but things such as the characters gesticulating or other things to really convey the emotion behind the words. I look forward to reading more stories from you in the future, and can not wait to see what your next addition to this site will be.
ReplyDeleteHi Chandi! I really like your project idea. I'm a letters con studies major and I love how you made each title (name) vs (name). Also, I like how you chose to empower Sita in your first story. I think that the Indian epics make women look weak and I think that your modern interpretation of the epic gave Sita a lot more of a western flare and vitality. One thing that I was wondering about is who Kamadeva is. Perhaps you could exaplain a little bit about the that figure in your author's notes and why Marriage counceling would make sense. When I was reading the second story I just realized that you are choosing Karma as the main character and using first person to talk about him! I think that's really cool and I appreciate that. I look forward to reading more of your stories and how this all turns out!!
ReplyDeleteHi Chandni. I like your mini-introduction on your homepage. The comment link to your blog is really helpful. I do not care for your banner on your home page, it just doesn’t seem to fit in. Having a judge or something along those lines would seem to work better. Also, I do believe you need something along the lines of “This is a Storybook project for MLLL-4993-996 at the University of Oklahoma, Spring 2018” on your home page. Your stories are a bit odd and something I wouldn’t have thought of. I did find myself enjoying them. You have them set up as a court reporting, but with a background one why they were summoned. The overall theme itself is enjoyable. You should consider adding a little more detail to the stories. This would help with the imagination of the reader. I look forward to your future writings and wish you the best of luck.
ReplyDeleteHello Chandni,
ReplyDeleteYour project idea is one of the coolest, most creative ways of retelling stories yet. Not only does it help create an entirely different narrative, but it is also incredibly encapsulating. After reading the story over the Mahabharata, I was even more impressed with your idea. The way your were able to change parts of the story to give justice to Duryodhana was amazing. I also loved how you made a little soliloquy for karma to explain that the story was about the kids, as it was not their battle and should be left out of it. The author's note at the end was alos incredibly helpful, especially for a confusing story like the Marabharata. I wonder if Karma has any powers outside the court, supernatural to be exact. Does she effect their lives this way? Or the court is her way of determining what kind of punishment to deal to each individual based on their actions.
Chandni, I just read your Karma diaries Case 1 and Case two. You did a great job and I loved the creativity that your project has. It is unlike any others that I have read and as someone who loves Judge Judy and court room inspired movies, I really enjoyed it! In Case 2 I really liked how you gave a very detailed author's note to allow the reader to see your inspiration behind your project, so thank you for that. I also liked how you talked about dharma and how Karma's dharma is unlike a normal judge's in that she has to give people what they deserve, good and bad. I wonder where you will take the story in the next few weeks! Personally, I think it would be cool to see if from the few of a court room reporter or newscaster. I also noticed a few spelling and grammar mistakes with you're and your so you might want to proofread through again. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Chandni great Portfolio so far! I have read case 1 and case 2 and I really like how you are telling the stories making it feel like I am in the courtroom. Writing the dialogue like that makes it seem like I am sitting in the courtroom as well. Your dialogue takes me through the entire court case and gives a glimpse into how those participating in the court case feel. However, one thing that I would recommend for your upcoming stories is a little more background and maybe a look into what Judge Karma is thinking during the case. The dialogue is very well done, but I am having some trouble following the dialogue in the middle of the story. Introducing characters that readers may not know would mitigate a lot of the confusion regarding the introduction of brand new characters. Also, adding short paragraphs describing what Judge Karma is thinking during the case would add more depth to the stories. Great job on your Portfolio so far, I look forward to reading more stories.
ReplyDeleteHey Chandni!
ReplyDeleteSo the first thing I noticed were a couple of typos on the homepage of your portfolio. You might want to read through it once more just to get those out of there. I like your idea of creating mock court cases and the way you have set up the dialogue like the written records from actual hearings. In you first story, with Rama and Sita, you might want to try breaking apart the bits of dialogue in the prelude, as the lines from Rama and Sita kind of run together and could cause some confusion. In the second story, as Arjuna is giving his arguments, and talks about how he failed his son and mother, the sentence seems to stop midway. It would help the flow of the story a lot if that is removed or if the thought is finished. Other than those and a few little typos, I think your stories are looking pretty great. Well done!
Hey Chandni!
ReplyDeleteFirst off all your homepage is the most informative that I have read. It introduces what your portfolio covers and lets the reader know what to expect. I really enjoyed reading the stories and hearing the judgement from Karma, it was a unique idea! In Case 1, there are several mismatched quotations for the dialogue between Rama and Sita, but there a simple grammar errors that can be fixed. In regards to the background of the case, it does not describe that Sita was in exile prior to the fire trial, but this is mentioned in the courtroom with Karma. It would help the reader to describe this earlier on in the story.
I like that Case 2 was more focused on the courtroom of Karma. This allows for more involvement on her part. Through the testifying from the plaintiff and the defendant, you were able to describe the background behind the case without explicitly describing it in Case 1. I liked this style more, but either works for the portfolio.
Hey there, Chandni! I really like your Introduction about Karma. I would never have thought of doing my project like the way you are doing, honestly it really was a unique idea props to you. It was really interesting how you introduce who the Karma is and how she conducts her case and also how she is different then other typical “courts”. After reading your Introduction I read your case one and I must say it was really good story. Even if I knew my topic was going to be Karma I still wouldn’t be able to write this kind of story. I like how you made Sita and Rama get together like before after solving all the problem in their life. But it could have been better because you are ”Karma” and you should have punished Rama for the wrong thing he has done in the like and make Sita and Rama get together again. But it was a good read.
ReplyDeleteHey there, Chandni!
ReplyDeleteThe first thing that I noticed was how great your front page looked! You have a really nice chunk of text that gives a great introduction to the stories in your project. I also thought that your background image looked really nice on your page. I thought that the first case between Rama and Sita was really funny and also great at bringing closure to the situation. I remember reading about Sita's exile in the Ramayana. I felt terrible for her and she had experienced. It was nice to see the two reconcile in your story. I hope that Sita was finally able to forgive him for the mistakes that he had made. I truly do not think he acted out of hate. I also thought that the second story was great. It was nice to see that Karma was looking out for the children instead of protecting the adults. They had broken the rules and did not deserve to be protected.
Hi, Chandni! To begin, I already love your use of dialogue. This immediately draws me into the story and drops me immediately into the plot. I also love these small moments that give us a look at the characters internal thoughts. It is almost as if Rama is expecting a double standard. Next, I LOVE all of the courtroom dialogue. It really shows the characters personalities. I also love that Sita is so sassy…you go girl! I think that this method of story telling is so engaging and exciting. I think my biggest request is that you use more imagery! Where were they in the first scene? What did the courtroom look like? Where were they headed? Thank you so much for sharing this story! I am loving where it’s going and am certain that will just get better and better! I am looking forward to reading more of your work. Good luck this semester! Jessie
ReplyDeleteHey, Chandni I read "The Pandava Bachelors" this story always caught my eye. I found it really interesting that there were four brothers that were trying to find wives. in the story I like how you introduced each brother and the dialogue throughout the story was really good. overall I really enjoyed reading this story it was one of my favorite.
ReplyDeleteHey Chandni, I think your project is very intriguing, definitely something i could have not thought of when i was reading Indian Epics. Your story seems very original in idea and very fun story to read. I enjoyed the parts where you showed the character's internal thoughts. First story about Rama and Sita was very fun to read for me and i really enjoyed it. I wished that you used for description when it came to the image. But overall i loved your story! I hope you keep up the good work and i will toward to read more stories from you!
ReplyDeleteHi again Chandi! Like I said before this is probably one of my favorite projects I have read so far! I would have never thought to turn stories from Indian Epics into what you have created. After I reread your first story and read for the first time your second and third story I thought that you have done a really great job making sure everything flows. The use of dialogue throughout your story really makes it awesome and unique. I think one collective thing that would make all of your stories better is if you explained more about what everything looked like. I had a hard time picturing the court room or picturing the judge. I think it would help a lot and contribute to the overall effect of your story if you decided to add some more imagery. Overall everything looks so great! I look forward to seeing what your finished product will look like! Good luck in the rest of your semester! Almost to the finish line!
ReplyDeleteHi Chandni! I'm from the Myth-Folklore class, and I really love your project! Personifying karma as a judge is honestly genius. Case 1 is well-paced and the dialogue is solid, and it definitely felt like I was reading a transcript from Judge Judy or something like that. In Case 2, I really appreciated that you gave us more of Karma's personality. Case 1 was more about the couple, but Karma really shone in the second story. The final case shows how well you've fleshed out your characters, and I could picture the scene really well. Your banner images also help set a great aesthetic for the site. I did notice one small thing, which is that you bolded the names of the speakers in the first and final cases, but didn't in the second. It's a small thing, but still noticeable. Overall though, you've done a fantastic job on this project!
ReplyDeleteHey Chandni! Your storybook is a really cool idea and I like the direction you have taken your project. The Karma court concept is really unique and I haven't seen any other projects like yours. The breakup of your stories into cases was awesome and really makes your storybook shine. I like the introduction and picture on your home page. It does a really good job of setting up the story and gives the reader just enough to be engaged and leave them wanting to read more. The way you break up your stories into dialogue in a court is super cool and makes the characters feel more real and important than if it was all in third person. You also do a really good job of integrating the source stories into your format without making them feel out of place. Overall really good job and I am happy to have chosen your project to read and comment on.
ReplyDeleteI almost immediately heard the People’s Court theme as soon as I read “Little did he know that I, Karma, was about to take over.” Hahahaha awesome.
ReplyDeleteOooh snap.
“Do you realize that while performing your dharma as a king, you have neglected your dharma as a husband?” That’s good stuff.
Hahaha oh man she took Karna down a peg. Oooh and Duryodhana! This is literally an epic takedown. I’m glad Judge Karma said if because I wanted to while I was reading that bs about him losing everything in a gambling match. Such an idiot!
I think it would be funny to have more images of the characters throughout the story, instead of just one at the very bottom. You could even make it look like it’s from TV and choose pics where they seem to be reacting to what’s going on.
This was hands-down the easiest story to read from this class. It was engaging, funny and vivid. I felt like I was watching reality tv without the guilt. I deeply enjoyed the sass from Judge Karma.
I love this concept! I enjoyed your stories so much, and I felt I should be reading them to theme music. That might even be a good idea, since there are so many court TV shows with those distinctive theme songs.
ReplyDeletePersonifying Karma was brilliant, and I think it'd be interesting to see what other elements of the stories could be personified and come to bear in the court room. Jealousy, maybe? Ravana would be a contender for that claim.
I loved the general format of your stories, but I think it would be awesome to have a tiny bit more narration between bits of dialogue. It's easy for the reader's eye to become lost in the back-and-forth nature of the dialogue.
I loved all the sass you got from Karma! She had so much personality. I especially loved the exchange between Karma and Kamsa. That finger-snapping was the best!
Hi Chandni! I like your concept of having characters sit before a personification of Karma and explain themselves and their actions in the stories. In "Sita vs. Rama" I noticed you had two dialogue tags for one piece of dialogue in the second line of the story. You have "Rama ... asked" then the dialogue then "exclaimed Rama." It would probably be best to pick one for that line. I appreciated that you made Sita stronger and that she stood up to Rama in your story. It always bothers me the way Rama treated Sita in the original story.
ReplyDeleteI love the description of the appearance of Judge Karma's robes in the second case. The red K on the back gives it an almost superhero vibe. I also like the way you tied it all back together with Kunti abandoning Karna. There was one typo in the second to last paragraph though. I think you swapped "live" and "to" in the sentence that started "Why should she get ..." Other than that your stories are really fun and unique!